Overseas.

Goodbye Australia, I'm off to New Zealand for 10 days.
Hopefully you won't change too much while I'm gone.
Speaking of changes, I got a hair cut today :)
New Zealand is somewhere I've always wanted to go, it looks beautiful.
Ten days with my friends in such a beautiful place seems amazing and I just can't wait.
In 12 hours I'll be at the airport, trying to figure out the adventure that's in store.

bad day

I was relaxed today and I wasn't thinking, I had used up all my brain cells on exams, I asked stupid questions and I got blamed for it and now I feel unhappy, life less and dull. I have absorbed nervous tension from others around me and now I feel terrible. My negative feelings that I have put behind me have come back and now I longer feel excitement towards the holidays. My soul has been ripped apart, no more looking forward to new zealand, no more looking forward to holidays.

Angry.

I am frustrated with myself.
Today's physics exam went badly.
Incredibly badly, I have never come out of an exam feeling like that.
I'm scared about tomorrow, I have chemistry then.
I don't know, it's funny I can do pure maths, I aced that test. Just not physics.
I used to be able to do chemistry, but I'm just not sure anymore.
Hopefully, I'll go alright tomorrow.
After 11 am I will be finished all year 11 assesment for the year and I will be going to the beach :)
I'm excited.

Physics

I've got 25 hours until the physics exam.
That's 25 hours of studying, feeling, breathing, dreaming physics.
From now on, it's all about the physics.
Wish me luck!

Irony

Funny how the word, funeral, has fun with in it.
It's the quite clearly the opposite.

I don't really know how I feel. I can't tell if I'm hurting or not. Sometimes I'm sad but other times I'm numb. No thoughts, no actions, pure nothingness. I just blank. Sometimes I distract myself so much that I'm capable of forgetting, but the amount of work it takes to achieve that is too much of a strain. So I'm either upset, exhausted from trying to not be upset, or I'm nothing. Great situation to be aye? But in a sense, I'm blessed.
I have an amazing support network of friends, my school and teachers understand what I'm going through and someone is always making sure that I'm alright.
I suppose it will get better with time and one day, I'll naturally be able to cope. Until then, only time will tell.

Cancer

I watched it take over your body, engulf you, suffercate you.
It caused me so much pain, to see you - someone i love, go through that.
From this morning I could sense that there was something wrong, but I didn't worry too much about it.

When I opened the car door this afternoon and I knew straight away that there was something wrong and my fears were proven true. As soon as I got in, I could feel the sadness, and then dad said that he had some news and I knew what it refered to.
I knew that she was gone, that cancer had won.
I held back the tears, knowing that I had to go to an interview to go to.
I felt heartless and cold for not crying, but I'm doing it now.
The disease that had caused her so much misery and pain had won.
I always knew that she didn't have long, but it still happened so fast and so soon.
RIP, Ciocia Stefa
I will remember you

Cut it out

No more, please no more.
I want it to stop.
I can't handle it.
I want out, right now.

Euphoria

Gazing into your eyes, the world disappears.
Your smile, makes me feel invincible - like I'm the only one that matters.
The way you talk, makes me feel insecure, like I need you.
There's just something about you, that makes you special.
That make's me feel happy
and I like that feeling :)

Incomplete;

would be the perfect word to describe me.
I have the perfect image of myself in my mind but in reality these two things are worlds apart.
In the end it all comes down to numbers -
I wish to get a certain OP
I wish to weigh a certain amount
I wish to have had a certain number of experiences before a certain age
I wish to have a certain sum of money
I wish to be the IDEAL me.
I want to escape because my current environment won't let me do these things.
I need change, I need fun, I need you :)