Afraid

Ive been drafting blogs for the last couple of days - just unable to post them. I can't say what I want to say and it's frustrating. I feel as though there is something bottled up inside of me. I feel happy though, that's the problem and it's so much harder to pin point. I'm not sure if it's associated with a fear of growing up or just a general 'something bad is going to happen'. I'm on edge, I'm alert, I don't want to let my gaurd down. My gut instinct is to keep watch and be aware. I also feel incomplete, like something is missing. I just want to fill that hole, just want to feel human.