life

there are always things in life we aren't ready for,
and honestly, I'm not ready.

Each day it gets worse
every time i see you, it's worse
it hasn't been getting better and i don't think it will
even though it's happening gradually i don't think i will ever be prepared
i know that the day will come and i got to prepare myself for it
the day will come quickly and as prepared as i might be, i will never be ready
not ready to deal with this, not ready to cry, not ready to accept it
but i suppose i will have to and it's not a question of how, but when

one thing is certain though, i will miss you.

I'm feeling run down, tired, stressed, weak.

I don't have time anymore, my brain is trying to process it
this concept of you not being there anymore and its hard.
it's extremely hard.

but I'm happy that I've got at least someone to lean on :)
someone to confide in, someone who can understand
but it's sad that only one person out of all my friends can understand
that only one person knows what's really going on
and that only one person can make me feel good

they day is gonna come, when I'll be crying because of this and everyone will ask why, what happened?
the tears are gonna keep coming and i won't want to talk, all i will want is a hug and a friendly smile from you
and for you to sit with me until I'm alright, you don't have to say a word, having you beside me is all i want

the tears, are streaming down my face already -
and it hasn't even happened yet;

but thinking of you and knowing that you will be there for me, because you understand makes those tears into tears of joy

joy- that i have a friend like you.
your one of my best friends, and gosh i love you :)

but at the same time, i feel sad knowing that the one who has been there for so long, i can no longer trust.

the bond is gone. the trust is gone and you've changed.
you feel cold to me.
you make me feel insecure.
stupid.
less important.
poor.
all these negative emotions, because you continously send out the, "i'm so much better than you" vibe. i've forgiven you for it before, but honestly - i'm not comfortable being round you and i think it's time that we both moved on.